While watching the footy the other day, we were with some other people who were friends of friends etc, and we had the usual conversation of how do you know so and so etc.

However, this had the expat twist of language classes. Going to a language class is usually one of the first places you'll make friends on arriving in a foreign country (unless you speak the lingo of course). It gets in the way of meeting local people of couse, since everyone else there is an expat from somewhere or other.

So, the conversation usually goes something like;

'I met X at french classes when I was doing level 1 - He met the wife of Y when he went on to level 2'
'Oh, Y works with Z who I met at the Alliance Francais classes'

etc etc.

My first french class had twenty people in it from 15 different countries! Apart from struggling with the language, you all have plenty in common - basically you're all in a foreign country, struggling with the culture shock, and feeling like you're on a big holiday. Consequently, you end up making lots of friends...

I'm now starting to reach the opposite end of the spectrum though - I've been here long enough that I haven't been to a class in many years (that doesn't mean I can speak french, just that I gave up the classes!). You begin to see that people are coming and going - most expats are here on limited time contracts, working here for just a few years. Even those who are here due to relationships are tending to strain at the leash, and want to move either home or to another country.

Ideally the best thing would have been to have made more local friends. The french however are difficult to make strong relationships with. Plenty of acquaintances, but it's been hard to find more than that. While that's part of who the french are, it's my own fault really - trying to immerse yourself in a culture is difficult, and something you have to deliberately push yourself to do. Sit back and lapse into english conversations, english bars etc is all too easy...