Here's my recipe for a french TV show -

Pick any topic, doesn't matter what it is, as long as you can make a trailer that might draw people in. Cobble together a bunch of 50 second scenes that are vaguely about your topic (not too many! About 5 minutes worth will do). Fill a tiny studio with a big table and put a bunch of C list celebs around the table. Add an aging but coiffeured host. Pack in a mob of the public (again not too many, toilet paper is expensive! About 30 will do).

This part is important! Make sure the pretty members of the audience are sitting in the front row right behind the celebs. Also make sure they know when the camera is on them!

Intermittently show the scenes, and then let the celebs talk in between. They are probably supposed to talk about the scenes, but that's not obligatory. They don't even have to wait for each other to finish, ego = airtime here folks. In fact, make sure the show's host has a really really really big ego, and let him talk over everybody. The show should last an hour if you want to keep it short...

And that's french TV. I kid you not. The insidious virus of reality TV has made a big splash of course, but the tried and tested (and cheap) formula above is still the king of the airwaves. Heavy politics, avant garde cinema, video bloopers, all are suitable fodder for this beautiful format.

A few years ago they managed to produce a 5 hour special with Céline Dion. 7pm to midnight! Repeated on sunday in case you missed it too...